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  • Writer's pictureAllison Jayne

Find Love Again: Learn to Date Like a Goddess- Chapter 1

Updated: May 2

The Scarcity of Good Single Men

“The Goddess doesn’t enter us from outside; she emerges from deep within.”

—Marianne Williamson

Will I ever find love? Or am I destined to be alone for the rest of my life?

These are the questions that keep you up at night.

Even if they are not on the forefront of your mind, as you toss and turn and can’t seem to meet up with the elusive soft blanket called slumber, these thoughts are lurking in the background, rattling around like quiet little marbles gently clinking behind a curtain. These two questions are omnipresent in everything that you do. So, whether you are at the grocery store, the gym, or out in the evening with friends, the question of, will I ever meet my guy is right there on the edge of your mind, and you can’t refrain from scanning all around you, looking and wondering, is this the place I finally meet him? You find yourself glancing around while grinding it out on the treadmill, looking at all the men in the room, peeking at left hands, looking for the glint of gold or silver that tells you to move on. You hope you are not sweating too badly and do not look like a complete mess because, after all, you think to yourself, you never know when it’s going to happen.

You try not to think about it all the time and chide yourself for doing it, but you simply can’t help yourself! You want to meet your man. You want to meet him now! And you really don’t want to meet him online. Online dating feels like a soul-sucking nightmare of virtual games and rejection. A real-life meeting would be so much better. It would make for such a cuter “how we met” story.

You envision bumping into your ideal man naturally and with little effort on your part; before you know it, the two of you are dating. Picturing that moment you long for, when that handsome, ringless guy who looks just about your age casually starts a conversation with you while you two are picking apples at the farmers’ market. Magic! You can see it in your mind. He says something funny, and you both tilt your heads and laugh in unison, and before you know it, he asks you if you would like to get lunch or coffee sometime. You feel elated! You text all your girlfriends: You guys are never going to believe it, but I just met the hottest guy at (insert your least expected place of choice), and we started chatting, and he asked me out!

This is your daydream on repeat.

Because what you truly long for is to be a part of a couple again, to have a date to show up with at parties, to go to couples-only barbecues in people’s backyards, and have cool refreshing drinks on warm summer nights. You do not miss your ex, not even a little bit, but you do miss that. You miss fitting in and feeling like a part of the coupled world. Since the divorce and not being a part of a couple, you have felt a little lost – untethered. It feels like if you could just meet a good guy and be in a relationship again, you wouldn’t feel this way. You would feel whole again. You would enjoy your life so much more because you would have a partner to do everything with. You would no longer have to spend nights pathetically cooking meals for one and going to bed alone.

I understand. You are not alone in this.

And I know you are starting to wonder if it’s even possible at your age to find a good man. It does not seem like there are any good guys available out there, not healthy ones anyway. There may be some you might find attractive, but they turn out to be self-centered narcissists or depressives who perseverate on a “woe is me tale,” or neurotics who make you hand sanitize your whole body before he would even consider kissing you! Baggage, baggage, baggage, that’s all that is left in guys my age, you think to yourself. Online dating only intensifies these worries because you see pretty much nothing but undesirable men. If there happens to be the occasional diamond in the rough out there, you are certain they are only interested in younger, thinner, prettier women.

Is There Another Way? What if I told you that you could find a healthy man who you would want to date? What if I told you there is a way to date that will help you find that special relationship with an emotionally available man who you love and adore and who loves and adores you back? And what if I told you that you could enjoy the process of finding him, that you could actually enjoy dating?

You can draw men to you that are not only emotionally healthy but who will treat you like a queen ... like a goddess. Regardless of your age, your size, or your wrinkles – you can draw in multiple men, high-quality men, just as you are now, and you can be the one doing the choosing.

I’m guessing, right about now, you’re a couple of eye rolls away from chucking this book aside and saying, “This author is selling a pipe dream! She has no clue.” But I promise you, dear reader, I wrote this book for you.

This is no pipe dream. I have witnessed it happen for others, others who were absolutely convinced it could never happen for them, because of this, that, or the shortcoming they were convinced they had. My clients are those others, who were positive they had to settle or face growing old alone, others who are now barely able to believe the happiness they have found with their man.

My pledge to you is this: You can have it all in a man, your dream partner who is the ideal fit for you with whom you have big, epic, mutual love. The reason I am so confident is that this book has a secret tool that all those other date coaches out there aren’t using. A tool that will shift you from the inside out, from the deepest parts of your mind clearing out all your negativity and self-doubt. This tool will transform you from a dating doubter to a dating goddess by the end of this book.

Let’s go, woman, your dream guy is waiting for you.

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